Posted by: saket71 | April 5, 2010

Changing Houses, and My Baby.

The weekend has gone into searching for the new house, the family of three, braving out the hot Delhi summer, searching from one house to the other. My daughter, the pink, little lady cuddling in my lap, felt as if it was some baby’s day out. At times like this when you are about to uproot the entire setup, you actually start realizing the significance of having a firm root, let it be in Saharan desert or on the North Pole, roots, my friend, you need. I have lived my entire childhood in multiple places, on account of father’s transferable job, and at the end felt like a man trapped in the No Man’s Land. I have spent couple of years in each school, do not know which one I can call home or the one where I grew up. Possibly that is the reason that I feel closest to my graduation years, for, there the claim on the alma mater which I have is not less than any of my classmates, as we spent equal period there.

Anyway, coming back to the topic, couple of houses seen, what it would mean is pulling off the enter support system that we have and opt for a new one. Change, says Obama is good, I do not know how much to believe that good-looking guy, his views on good and bad Taliban, notwithstanding. I look at my daughter, the pink face, reddened by the exposure to the Delhi summer sun, cuddled in my lap in sleep, and I almost feel the guilt. The pang hits me harder than the truth, as we try to explore the option for arranging a new maid to babysit, while the parents are out on work. Possibly the transition, would also entail a brief shifting to a day-care center. To send the little wonder, that I brought back from the hospital two years back, into the big, bad world is not an easy decision to live with. I read brave sayings, like ships are meant to be in the ocean and life has to go forward. None of these cosmetic bravery lotions that I put on my worried face, along with the empty laughter, is courageous enough to look straight into those two blue pools filled with shining stars with which she looks at me.

What worries is not the act of sending her out itself, but the fact that nobody considers her wishes into this, and worse, this is not an act in isolation, it is the beginning of the days to come by, of life that is to follow. She is going to be out alone, and I will not be around to protect. It is the start of the slipping of the tight rope that one holds of life in the hands, which in the end leaves you with empty hands, bruised and battered, with a mesh of protruding nerves on the back of the palms.  As I bid you your first little farewell out of your small house, I wish to tell you, that I love you more than anything else in this world, that I will always be there to hold your tiny little hands, when your stretched out hands are left unanswered (you are so quick in reaching out with a hand of friendship). I tell you this now, when you keep on talking with mumbled words, and you can not understand what I say, I will keep on telling you, when you will not want to hear me. Growing up is always a painful business, I pray, you could do it with as little of pain as is humanly possible. I also hope you will like the new house, as it is going to be your house only with your mother and me as a visitor, that you will hopefully be able to tolerate for a long time to come.

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Responses

  1. At last have you found out the house for the little baby, are you changing the house and moving to your own house.

    Arvind

    • Changing the house to another rented one, the vagabond life continues with slight change of scene.


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